On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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