well I can't set my house on fire every night
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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