I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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