so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize