I want to have your abortion
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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