May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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