Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Drake has all the answers
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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