I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
