yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Semen is not good for contacts.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
