this will be a night to untag.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
