No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize