people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
