K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
