absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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