the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize