Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
