it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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