He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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