My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
