its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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