we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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