people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just found a bag of teeth...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
