I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
