I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
