The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hippo gnu deer
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
