S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
