I puked a lego.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
