Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
