You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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