ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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