I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
