I heard we made out
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
