I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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