she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
