i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
