Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Randomize
