After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize