Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
