Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How drunk are you?
Completed.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
