Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize