I puked a lego.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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