saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
