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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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