if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
