Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
