come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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