Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
