I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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