I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
