so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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