ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize