ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize