we're chasing vodka with high fives
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
