One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
