Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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