her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
