I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I would fuck him just for his dog
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
