ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
