That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize