I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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