Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He has the fingertips of a God
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