would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
