In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize