she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
